It is not so hard to live a sane life, when you're far away from a civilization, somewhere in the Himalayas or on a farm, where you don't meet hundreds of burnt-out and angry people every day. But living in the cabin in the woods may not suit just everyone. Cities have a long history of attracting money and talent. In many cases, they represent the only viable option for individuals seeking to improve their social standing. Even if you aim at having a self-sufficient life in a remote village, it may be prudent to initially accumulate capital in an urban setting. This essay is for those who choose to live in a big city but also want to preserve their integrity, as it is a fact that cities drain people's souls with all the office politics, relentless competition, stresses, and commutes. Here I'm sharing some practices that I use and that work well for me now, and that worked when I lived in the metro area of twenty million people.
In the city, you're inundated with information from all around you. It is unnatural for us, human beings, to have so much going on, so it is wise to minimize the amount of information that one encounters each day. If your salary doesn't depend on reading news or scrolling social network feeds, don't do that. News is a brainwashing propaganda tool, which professionally navigates your views and emotions (no matter how authoritative the source seems to be) and the goal of any social media is to grab your attention for as long as it can. If you feel angry or depressed after reading some news, it is exactly what its curators tried to achieve. In this situation, you lose control over your own thoughts and emotions, and your true self is now surrendered to the whims of media pundits and influencers who prostitute to the highest bidder or curry favor with the masses for personal gain.
A major problem with reading news is that people take it for granted that a certain news is true. They do not seek external validation or engage with alternative perspectives. My formative years were spent honing critical thinking skills through a historical education, which emphasized the importance of examining multiple perspectives when piecing together historical narratives. It appears that most people do not have these abilities, or they utilize a perverted form of critical analysis to assault and discredit timeless truths that surpass their understanding. The problem with news is that even with the knowledge of how to get information from different sources, it is challenging to ascertain the veracity of claims. Only time is the ultimate arbiter of order, which makes reading news a waste, leaving us to ponder more enduring truths that resonate across generations.
In an urban landscape that is teeming with technological advances, it is all the more important to minimize one's exposure to them. To enhance your life, consider giving up the smartphone in favor of a button phone—this will suffice for staying connected. Should you require certain applications nonetheless, look into KaiOS phones. They resemble relics from the early 2000s, but they have a minimal set of applications. If the cyberpunk environment of your city demands a smartphone presence, consider acquiring a Pixel Phone and installing GrapheneOS with access to F-droid store. Ironically, you will not have any proprietary software on your phone from the producer, and this will enable access to many minimalistic free and open source programs.
Cities are a favorable environment for all kinds of temptations, which can be drugs, alcohol, computer games. It may be all right to have one beer as a gratification after a successful work, but don't become a slave to it. A shot of whiskey once a month is better than drinking it every day. Same with quality cigars. Nassim Taleb is on point when he says that a bottle of wine drunk in one day isn't the same as a bottle of wine drunk over a week (it doesn't work that way with drugs, including weed—don't consume any amount of it).
If you cannot overcome your addiction to games, at least play games that do not have the endless open worlds. Play something with a reach and complete story that resembles literature, cinema, or other forms of art that you can finish in a few hours. Avoid online games, and God forbid you watch porn.
Philosophy and religion, deeply rooted in time-proven ideas, are a key to overcoming addictions and remaining sane. It can be any world religion that is close to your culture, such as christianity, islam, buddhism, hinduism, confucianism, judaism, shinto, or a philosophy with a solid foundation, like stoicism. I should mention that stoicism is, in essence, similar to christianity. When you read Epictetus, you'll be struck by the profound interconnectedness between the two. Christianity was immencely influenced by the stoic ideals, a fact which warrants further exploration in another essay.
Don't let people crush your soul. The more you succeed, the more impedance you'll have on your way. Pick your friends carefully and don't lose your faith in humanity. It's very easy to become embittered in a big city. Don't compare yourself to others. Only compare yourself to your past self. I've met people who financially and socially are in the top five percent, but still they have miserable lives because they indulge in gossiping and envying others (usually the naturally gifted and laborious). Be above that vanity. Stay open-minded and master your skills. Keep your mind in a constant learning mode. To survive in a complexity of a big city, it is important to possess useful knowledge and skills and be helpful to others.
It is important to acknowledge the detrimental impact of a constructivist understanding of good and bad on our lives. You may have heard that good and evil do not exist. No doubt there are nuances, but there're obviously things that are inherently evil and are intrinsically good. If ever in doubt, have a conversation with your 11 year-old self. What you as a child would say about this or that situation? Is it right or wrong to do this or not to do that? Unless you have had a traumatic childhood, this is your most accurate embedded moral compass that should be checked regularly. In times of trial, find the strength to have the courage to stand up for yourself and your loved ones, and to stay true to your principles.
It is also essential to carve out moments of solitude, which are long walks sans audiobooks or podcasts allowing one's thoughts to meander and contemplate. Regular meditations and prayers also help; when I find myself reluctant to invest in this practice, I recall how effortlessly I can while away hours watching adorable feline videos yet a prayer doesn't take as much of my time.
Another thing is to have a hobby. Once you aren't a student living on the campus, your life may suddenly become lonely. Go out and find a society or a club suitable to your interests and meet new people. Some social hobbies to consider are dance, martial arts, musical performance, and foreign language classes. They all serve serve to enrich your life experiences and foster a sense of camaraderie amongst like-minded folks.
Engage in physical activity on a daily basis, allocating no less than thirty minutes for such pursuits. At the very least, walk outside if you can't hit a gym or tatami.
If your productivity is high and you have time on your hands, be on the lookout for a life companion. The reason why I call this counsel an ancillary matter is that the young men often forego building themselves in favor of chasing after women. Ladies, on the other hand, ought to remain ever-vigilant in their pursuit of a suitable companion at an earlier stage in life, as this not an extra endeavor for them but rather an effort of utmost importance. For both genders, finding someone who doesn't compete with you and supports your growth can be a blessing in this chaotic world. If you're an introvert, you will be happier with an introverted partner. The opposites may be attracted to one another, but they will likely wreck each other's lives by having different expectations.
Recall, before Tom Cruise's character in "The Last Samurai," found his small measure of peace, he went through hell. It is through such trials that we are tempered and strengthened. Urban life presents itself as the ideal proving ground, giving us opportunities to overcome challenges and become a better self.
10 Jun 2024